i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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