He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
