So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
