I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Randomize
