i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
sarcasm needs its own font
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
