next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Randomize
