I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
why is half of my head shaved?
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
