help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
