so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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