That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
