Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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