i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
