Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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