I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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