soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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