i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
