I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
