Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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