based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
babies were throwing up all over the place
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
But I just had this pork p�t�. It was dick grabbing.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
