come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
