You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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