Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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