the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Every concussion has its silver lining
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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