i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
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