What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I got chris browned last night
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
