hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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