Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
