Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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