there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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