You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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