It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
