that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
that is very illegal...i love you.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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