I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Randomize
