It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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