i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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