THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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