I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
