can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Randomize
