i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
