I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
