I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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