She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Randomize
