Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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