Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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