fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
