I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
