I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I lost the right to judge tonight
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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