My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
