Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Randomize
