Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Randomize
